7.2.04
ive found new meaning to my life and im happy with what it is like now. it is through you that i'm determined to get my studying started. after an entire month of floating aimlessly, i finally know what i want and what im going to do for myself. thankyou.
was woken up by a heated argument between my parents this morning. apparently dad has finally let off steam and has voiced out his deepest grouses. what i overheard in the argument, ive already heard it coming from dad umpteen times. it's good in a sense, at least he's let it all out instead of keeping everything to himself. wonder how mum's taking it though, she's gone out as usual. it's always the case after they argue - either party will grab his/her car keys and stomp out to find solace. so there, it's impossible that mum sells her car. she'll need it, ha. that sounds so cynical and sadistic...
today shall be a day devoted to my work. :) hope to accomplish something...
sis' b'day coming up real soon. shall discuss with dad to get her a bottle from that shop in beauty world...those amazingly cute bottles that ive always oggled at on the display shelves but never dared to ask for. afterall, it's not like i dont have a bottle to use anyway. lucky sis then, cos her wonderful sis is going to get her one...heh. :)
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just came back...went to buy shoes. was super fun seeing how alvin bargained with the fella. haha...it was hilarious. cindy and i chose the right person to come with us. thanks alvin. :) yay...so cindy and i will be wearing the same shoes to school on monday. -beams-
oh yeah, saw xiaoyun at anchorpoint. :)
supposed to be doing work now...cos i promised myself that i would. guess i will after finishing this blog entry. i must.
mind's blanked out. tired. nth more to say...
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6.2.04
today's totally screwed. the only time i enjoyed myself was maths lecture. gavin and weejin were so crappy. :)
to alvin: sorry and thanks with regards to Mr Heng. paiseh ar... :)
there's so much to say but i dont know where to start and how to put the thoughts into words. all i can say is that life is at its 'down' now. at this moment, i only wish to survive JAE and remain where i want to.
let's hope tmr'll be a better day. but how good can it be, when i have to go to the bank first thing in the morning to settle my admin stuff.
it pays to be optimistic. easier said than done.
i quit.
den* stepped on your garbage at
5.2.04
moodswings today. havent got them for quite some time. welcome back my dear friend! pity those who had to withstand the torture...oh wells, it's always the case. -shakes head-
screwed up chem prac today. and wow, havent felt that familiar old frustration for a long time too! reminds me of those days in crescent's jinxed chem lab 1....awww...i miss my lab partners!! terri, kaiwen and wila. was so much fun breaking all the apparatus and putting our lives at risk with the bunsen burner. although the same thing happened today, [the bunsen was faulty and refused to light up and i broke a crucible], it all seemed so demoralising rather than fun. :( chem prac'll never be the same as before...feeling frustrated alone simply grates on your nerves. being frustrated as one whole bench only triggers chronic laughter and playful jests at one another. miss you girls...
felt so utterly embarrassed today at the busstop. didnt know where to hide my face. saturday's bound to be doubly worse. die le.
i dont want to fill up the body worlds form. such a chore.
den* stepped on your garbage at
4.2.04
there was a huge revelation today on the bus ride to cine...
terence: "i think there's some sort of misunderstanding here. it's $12.50 per week, not per month."
year 1s: silence. look at one another (then at terence) in disbelief.
geez. all this 'investment' is chalking up a lot of expenditure. let's check the money spent today just at cine alone. $12.50 + $46 for locker + $6.85 for kfc. my mental calculation sucks so i dont know what the total amounts to and i dare not find out anyway. sheesh. *sighs*
cindy keeps reminding me that im cheating alvin. actually i agree with her. but somehow it's rather inevitable on my part. feel like some mean ass. and apparently navin is 100% sure of my two options. thanks to cindy's incessant rambling...tsktsk, must give her a gentle reminder tmr. :)
thot maybe things were changing...but in the end, she's still the one. gosh.
still leading this same old aimless life. sian.
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2.2.04
been reading blogs and i realise that i didnt make full use of my four years in crescent. seemed to have missed out on a lot of fun...oh wells, shall live by my motto...dont look back at the past. whoops, that makes me sound like some cold and unfeeling person who has no sentimental feelings at all. k, it's not true. i just dont want to live in the past, just want to forget all the past mistakes and unhappiness. nothing wrong with that right? all i ask is to be happy...
it feels funny not seeing you for two days.
school tmr. yay! relishing the idea, other than the fact that gp's first period tmr. sighs.
feel like downloading new wallpaper for hp. im too bored... :(
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1.2.04
so in love with the atomic kitten song, "eternal flame". not a new song, but i like it a lot.
feel like sinking myself in the sea of music, never to resurface.
it all feels too empty on a wet monday morning.
just realised that my deadline set was yesterday. it's over. it officially marks the end of my incessant chatting and the return to work.
i resent myself, and the things im doing.
i feel paralysed...no energy to move on.
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hafnt blogged for quite some time. been pretty busy. just called daphne and talked to her. it's great to catch up with all the gossip and the new things that are happening in her life. :) and at the same time exchanging information on the various characters in our jcs. heh. it's a pity my household's full of restrictions. every caller appears to be some dubious character who's up to no good. tsk.
think ive overstrained a muscle in my leg. hopefully the pain goes away tomorrow morning. dont wish to see a doctor. even though that'd mean skipping pe on tuesday. oh wells.
finding it harder to survive taking three sciences. seriously, the interest i had in the subjects which were already waning, is now stretching itself to its limits. shall just allow the current to push itself against me. i'll just move with the flow. if i should drown, i wonder which kind soul will actually bother to save me.
it's feb the first today. time flies. what have i achieved in this one month? hmmz. i suppose it's not much, but not little either. at least i got to know a bunch of great people, who are going to make life in nj colourful. or to be less optimistic, they are going to be the heartbreaking reasons as to why i cant bear to leave nj...if im presented with horrendous Os results that is.
still faced with three options after a week-long's worry.
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